I was reminded yesterday that I only have about a year and a half left before ordination...this came as no surprise, but did set me thinking about how unprepared I really am for the whole thing!

I have been on two funeral visits this week which I obviously can't comment on in any detail here, it is enough to say that one of them was pretty harrowing. Even though I only had to sit there and care, it was a difficult experience. Whilst I realise how much there is still to learn before I will be remotely ready to start my curacy, I also feel very affirmed in these daunting situations.

It has occured to me that ministering to people is not just what I want to do, it is what I am! Am I changing my theology on the ontological nature of ordained ministry? I'm not sure.. I DO know that I believe that all Christians have a specific calling within which Jesus channels his love and through whom he chooses to fulfill his purposes. Whether that means all are included in the ontological nature of calling (just different callings), I don't know. Can a teacher really not be a teacher when s/he is not teaching or a Doctor not be a doctor when s/he isn't on duty?

I will have to reflect on this further.

Pastoral ministry can be hard...especially when bad situations don't seem to change and you are at a loss as to what on earth you can do. It can be frustrating when you think you have it all worked out and then a situation doesn't go according to plan..
The problem is they're MY plans, not Gods...
Pastoral ministry can also be one of the most fulfilling tasks you can ever be part of, when you find that you have been used by God to help, even just by listening. Listening is SUCH a vital part of ministry and I am learning that more and more. As a naturally gregarious and fairly vocal person, it can also be difficult for me, but it is getting easier, especially as I see the difference it can make.
Keep them coming Lord...I'll do my best!