I was reminded yesterday that I only have about a year and a half left before ordination...this came as no surprise, but did set me thinking about how unprepared I really am for the whole thing!

I have been on two funeral visits this week which I obviously can't comment on in any detail here, it is enough to say that one of them was pretty harrowing. Even though I only had to sit there and care, it was a difficult experience. Whilst I realise how much there is still to learn before I will be remotely ready to start my curacy, I also feel very affirmed in these daunting situations.

It has occured to me that ministering to people is not just what I want to do, it is what I am! Am I changing my theology on the ontological nature of ordained ministry? I'm not sure.. I DO know that I believe that all Christians have a specific calling within which Jesus channels his love and through whom he chooses to fulfill his purposes. Whether that means all are included in the ontological nature of calling (just different callings), I don't know. Can a teacher really not be a teacher when s/he is not teaching or a Doctor not be a doctor when s/he isn't on duty?

I will have to reflect on this further.

One year down, two to go!
Everyone I meet says how quickly my ordination training is going..and in some ways I agree. It doesn't seem long ago at all since the First Years on the new SNWTP course gathered for our first weekend away. Yet I am just back from Summer school and the first year is over..eeek! (See photo above of the end of year Panto..'Snow White and the Seven Ordinands' - a play wot I wrote, in which we students satirised the course and staff as much as possible!). Here's a quick extract

Wicked Queen: Reflective Mirror on the wall, Who has the brightest hair style of all?

Mirror: I’m not sure, I’ll have to think a little more carefully about it, maybe do a pastoral cycle on it, look at some relevant artwork, re-read Laurie Green, and then reflect a bit more. Could you come back a week on Tuesday?”

Wicked Queen: No I couldn’t!!! I’ve got endless assignments to mark, I only have a very small window to find out the answer!!! Tell me now, or I’ll smash you to pieces!!

Mirror: Oh ok,I can be an Activist under pressure! Your hairstyle is definitely the brightest and coolest in the land!

Wicked Queen: That’s more like it!

In other ways it has seemed an age since I started...so much has happened. I've met so many new people, i've stretched my thinking and my abilities, my views have been challenged and reflected upon...(Oh how I hate Theological Reflection!!!!) It's been a fantastic experience though, and I thank God for every bit of it so far. I just hope that my 'formation' (whatever that actually is..) is successful and my course study of the Bible has such a positive effect that I am, as Paul says 'equipped for every good work'. Because, am I going to need it!!!

Well, with one term of Ordination training under my belt and the second one started, I feel less like a new ordinand than I did. Actually, so far I haven't felt much like an ordinand at all (whatever they actually feel like?). I think this may have something to do with the method of training I've taken. Being on a local course and therefore part time means you immerse yourself less in the process. However, you do get to stay within the 'real' world and for the moment anyway, remain involved with your own church which has been great.

The lectures for both modules, 'Biblical Studies'(my degree subject) and 'Theological Thinking' have been very good so far, although I have found the whole Theological Reflection thing difficult to get to grips with. It's not that I'm not used to thinking theologically, I just find it difficult having to do so to a set formula. Some of the stuff we did more recently (see my art reflection as one example )were easier to grasp and more grounded in the Bible which I feel to be essential. For me, thinking theologically cannot be separated from the Bible and nor should it be.

Well, I'm away next weekend at the Diocese's conference centre for another study weekend, which so far have been the best part of the course for me. It's also where I feel most like an Ordinand, because I can fully focus on that and nothing else.
Scary to think that in under two and a half years we'll be ordained...gulp!

God's given me a great group of friends too, who are not afraid to have fun and be as flippant as I am! You know who you are!!! I'll buy you a drink on Friday...